Our False Remissions
by leey
Summary: Time does not heal all wounds, it instead makes us reflect upon our past mistakes. Seto/Jou
1. I The First Act

**Authors Note:** This will probably become yaoi or something close to it, though may never fully reach that "M" rating. Swearing, and sexual themes are noticeable. (Lol, first couple of paragraphs...) The main couple will be SetoxJou, but I'm still debating whether or not I will add any SetoxShizuka in the mix (but they will never become the main couple).

I hope to at least bring this past the first chapter, wish me luck! My first submission in a really long time...

**Our False Remissions  
**_The First Act_

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He looked in despair, as he heard the words echoing through his ear, ringing. Constantly ringing.

"What would you do if I said I happened to like you?"

It was still fresh and vivid in his mind, the way the other man's hand grabbed a hold of his own. Gripping and bruising his frail looking wrist. He could still feel the burning sensation of this touch, lingering with a certain aching sensation.

"What…?" Stuttering, wishing he hadn't, a sure sign of weakness. It was too late, as he was whipped around, back hitting the brick wall in the closest alley way, hands tightly bound to hands not his. The man closed in onto him, breath brushing against a trembling cheek.

He whispered, "Don't make me repeat myself…" A tongue lashed out for his throat, awakening a startle in the pinned boy. He nibbled at a spot on his neck, creating a possessive mark that would make the boy his. Slowly lapping down to his collar bone, he slid a free hand under his shirt, sliding across an evenly toned chest.

"Ah… wait… Shit, Kaiba!" Breathing heavily, Jounouchi pulled his head back for easier access unconsciously, legs shaking, and mouth slightly agape.

"Too much for you already pup?" Seto Smirked, dropping his attention from Jounouchi's neck and locking eyes with his flushed captive. He struggled weakly against Seto, still shaken by their encounter, and confused beyond reason. He managed to free his hands and pushed against Seto's chest lightly, creating a distance between the two.

"T-t-this isn't…" Avoiding his gaze, Jounouchi looked down at his rain soaked shoes, embarrassed by the fact that he had started to like Seto's brutally soft touches, "This isn't right."

Seto pulled his hand out from under his shirt, and lifted Jounouchi's head up. The smaller boy responded with a flinch and shake of his head, ridding himself of Seto's hands, and perhaps, hopefully, wake up from a dream.

"What is?" Seto backed off from blonde, a heavy tension lingering in the air. Jounouchi felt like suffocating, a lack of oxygen to his brain, as he couldn't think clearly, or think much of anything at all besides of the man standing in front of him.

His touches, kisses, and words.

It was wrong.

Lips drew into a thin line, and hands clenched at his sides, "You can't keep playing around with me!"

At that moment, as he watched Seto bring his guard down, he fled. And with that, tried to erase his unusually lustful, passionate eyes.

And the abandoned and grief stricken face.

-

Jounouchi fumbled with his keys, his hands slippery from the pouring rain, and opened his house door making sure not to awake the slumbering household members. He crept upstairs, avoiding piles of trash and excessive cans of beer all around, only to be met by more trash in front of the bathroom door. It had accumulated everywhere because neither of the two living men in the household ever cared much for the cleanliness of the house. Jounouchi never thought too much about it, because even if he tried, the more he cleaned the dirtier it seemed. Illogical, but in the house, it worked.

He couldn't exactly blame it all entirely on his father, as much of a drunk and gambling maniac he had become, the old man still had some decency left in him. Even as his old age was catching up to him, work was always his first priority, though work would always leave Jounouchi alone more than half of the time.

"Ah, fuck." Sharp glass stuck onto the bottom of Jounouchi's foot, caught between his skin and rendering him useless to the freely pouring blood. He put pressure on his heel until he opened the bathroom door, the hinges emitting an annoying screech and sharp crack as it hit the other side of the wall. The blonde looked at himself in the mirror, his hair dripping wet, droplets slipping themselves down his face and neck.

Jounouchi took in a deep breath, "What the hell was all of that…" His eyes closed. A blush tinged his cheeks ever so slightly, as he recalled the moment.

A sweet caress—-

He shook his head fiercely, ridding himself of his thoughts. It just wasn't processing that it was real. A hand rose to smack his forehead, as he hunched over the bathroom sink, "What a bastard, his jokes have gone too far."

Tears glossed over his eyes, daring to fall and burning all the while. He turned on the sink, and let the water run, listening to it hiss and splash onto the porcelain bowl. With his hand, he ran over his eyes with the back of his palm, rubbing away at the excess anomaly stripping away at his pride. It had never occurred to him that the one who had always criticized at him, called him names, and step all over him could ever utter things of 'liking' or 'love' towards himself.

Jounouchi found it baffling, and in all, would just pass it off as a joke.

He took a step back and found a surge of pain course through his foot reminding him of the glass piece almost forgotten of.

"Fuck."

-

Seto stood there, breathing in the scent of their sensual encounter. He could still feel the skin on his hands, soft yet tense beneath him. And there was the look on his face when he ravished that neck, the low mumbles, and breathlessness of his words.

And his voice when he called out his name.

They were all aspects that made him lose control. Seto, Kaiba, losing his composure to a mere dog of society. He couldn't quite understand it, be it out of lust or love, there was still a certain attraction towards the boy that couldn't be held back. It just wouldn't stop pulling at him whenever he saw him, and now he had gone and done it, confessed and forced a rather sexual plot right off the bat.

Self control did not exist around Jounouchi.

_"This isn't right."_

With the words echoing inside him, he dropped himself back onto the wall, leaning against it heavily. A smile crept onto face, forming into a small smirk. If all he had to do was change his mind, then the rest would follow suit. Besides, he had firsthand knowledge that the dog was easy to take advantage of. He started to wonder what his mouth would taste like if he could kiss him. Like that of a dogs, or perhaps something sweet and exotic, whatever it was he hoped for the latter.

_"You can't keep playing around with me!"_

Seto's thoughts of monopolizing Jounouchi came to a stop, as he frowned. And for the first time, in a long time, he felt a sort of gaping hole swallowing his chest. A foreign feeling, something he was unaccustomed too. Suffocating and constricting, he felt a breath catch in his throat.

"That stupid mutt."

-

"Shizuka! Are you home?" Jounouchi rapidly knocked on the worn out oak door, the sound of his fist resounding into the apartment.

"I'm coming! Is that you Katsuya?" A small voice could be heard on the other side of the door, along with the pitter patter of light footsteps rushing towards the doorway. There was the sound of chain locks let loose, and the twist of the doorknob all allowing for the door to open in front of the visitor.

"Yeah, I came for a little visit… Is mom in?" He took the initiative and stepped inside, sliding off his dirty shoes and pushing them to the side, where all the other shoes seemed to accumulate. Women always needed their shoes.

"No, she headed out not to long ago. I think she told me she was going on a blind date or something." Shizuka smiled, trailing behind her brother.

Jounouchi plopped himself down on the couch, heaving a tired sigh off his chest, "That's good. I hope she meets somebody worthwhile this time." He bent his head backwards, and closed his eyes, relaxing in the rather homely environment set up in the small, yet comforting apartment.

There was a chuckle from Shizuka, as she sat down next to the tired body. She looked at Jounouchi from her freshly healed eyes and gazed at his face, taking in every curve and bone feature that she could, and imprint it into her mind. Because even as she sat there with her eyes wide open, there was the fear of darkness that she had never feared before.

A fear that one day her vision would fail her again and the world became another pitch black space in her mind. And the thought that she would lose her most important supporters in that void.

Her eyes shifted from his face towards his neck, where a dark red spot contrasted heavily with his skin.

"Katsuya… What is that?" A finger made its way to Jounouchi's neck, pressing upon the spot where she had found the little oddity.

No.

Jounouchi whipped his head back forward, slapping his sister's frail hand away from his skin, "Don't touch it!" He grabbed at his neck, hiding the red mark. A look of concern was shot towards him.

"Are you okay Katsuya? Did I scare you?" Pulling her slapped hand towards her chest, she soothed it with her other hand, rubbing at her own new red mark forming on her pale hand, "I didn't mean to scare you…"

Horror crossed Jounouchi's face before he softened his frightened look back to normal, "No, I just… I just overreacted." He scratched at the mark before looking back at Shizuka, avoiding eye contact.

"It's nothing," He paused, "Probably just a bug bite."

"I might have something in the first aid kit to cure that—"

As she begun to stand up, he pulled her back down, "No, It's alright, things like these go away on their own. If I can't even handle this, how am I supposed to face the real world?" He laughed.

It was one thing to lie, and another to lie to his sister. But if it kept her away from the truth, the horrifying reality, then he could bear it. The thought of tainting his sister with that cruel man's uncontrollable lust was unthinkable. He wouldn't allow for any contact between that man and his sister, even if it meant in the end he would need to sacrifice a part of himself.

He just hoped it would never have to come to that.

"Katsuya?" The mark on his neck began to itch, and words that sounded more like a statement than a question flooded his head.

"_What would you do if I said I happened to like you?"_

The visions returned, their last meeting still vivid in his mind, in all of his senses.

"Katsuya?"

And his head fell forward onto his hands that were clasped together tightly on his lap, as if he was submitting to defeat. Somehow, someway, Seto, Kaiba had woven himself into his mind.

And he just couldn't let it go.

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Thanks, R&R!


	2. II Retaliation

**Authors note**: I'm literally just spilling this out as I go, so typo's, grammer, etc will be present. I can't help it :(

**Edit:**  
Thank you **Princess7Strawberry** for pointing out Jounouchi's name!

Enjoy!

**Our False Remissions**  
_Retaliation_

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Jounouchi hurried on home before he had an encounter with his mom, before she started to ask about his current status and well being. He liked him mom in all honesty, but making her worry about all the little things in his life bothered him like it would bother anybody if they badgered long enough. And Jounouchi already had more worries to care about then to care about somebody else worrying over him.

The sun was setting, dipping down the horizon, allowing for the night sky to slowly engulf the town of Domino. The stars trickled out from the blanket of darkness, and lit up from the pitch black universe behind it. The dying noise of cars that rode upon the last of the asphalts rough surface whizzed by, their headlights every so often let Jounouchi bask in their light.

His afternoon journey to his sister's house proved to be a waste of time, considering the fact that they both couldn't keep a steady conversation, Jounouichi only being a distraction to Shizuka. He didn't like it when his sister began to ask too many questions, and like the saying, curiosity kills the cat, her curiosity would eventually lead her somewhere dangerous. And that didn't settle well with Jounouchi.

Trudging onward, he felt himself grow closer to his home. The prostitutes were out and rolling about, gangs against gangs fighting over what Jounouichi always found trivial. The florescent lights always beamed a little more brightly in this part of town, and if he walked just a little further, past the commercial buildings, he would find himself in front of his apartment complex. A little two story building squished between building to building.

"I wonder if dad's home…" Jounouchi climbed up the stairs, but before he could make it past the first step, the apartment door in front of him slammed open, startling the poor boy to a small shock.

"We'll be back, and if you don't have the money, it's goin' to be hell with you!" There were three men clad in black approaching the stairway, spitting on the ground before they made their way down and in front of Jounouchi. The shortest of the men grabbed him by his collar, Jounouchi making a face of discomfort before scowling at the man.

"Just as a suggestion, don't be goin' and destroyin' your organs before we do, you damn dog." He shoved the blonde towards the ground, before he motioned for the two, taller and better built men to follow suit. They entered their car and exited the premises of the small lot. Jounouchi touched his neck tenderly, readjusted his collar and dusted his pants off to rid himself of the dirt clumps staining his jeans.

"Those damn bastards," He snarled before hurrying up to his apartment.

The door was loose and starting to fall off its hinges, but he took no notice and entered as he always did. As Jounouchi stepped into his home, he stood in bewilderment at the plethora of red stickers. They stuck to almost everything besides the walls and floors that encased themselves inside their private enclosure. He scanned the area before finding his dad sitting on a red tagged couch in the living room.

"Fuck, Katsuya, I thought I could handle it…" His dad sat there, head buried into his hands with empty beer bottles littered around the couch like a boxing ring.

"Dad—"

"I couldn't even stop them from going into your room. I'm sorry Katsuya," He could hear his dad's shuddering voice, fear and disappointment laced between his words. Jounouchi ran towards his room, opening the door before allowing the image to sink in.

Everything he owned was now in possession. He touched the red tags that stuck themselves onto his desk, books, alarm clock, and everything else that he had laying about. But there was one particular tag that stood out and was placed near his bedside table.

His dueling deck.

A certain rage started to build up inside Jounouchi, as he traced his cards with his fingers, feeling the sticker embody itself onto his most prized possession.

He took the sticker and ripped it from his cards, tearing it into pieces, "Damnit, damnit, damnit!" They fell to the floor, fluttering like dancing ballerinas in the air, before being stepped upon by a heavy shoe. Tears stung at his eyes, "Damnit!!!!"

From the living room, his dad understood full well what his son had encountered. What he had brought onto his son, what he had brought onto himself. He understood that he had failed as a parent from the moment Jounouchi was brought into the world. He understood it.

It struck him harder when he started to hear the soft sobs echo from inside of the room.

He picked up a bottle and took a swig of alcohol to dull the noise.

-

"Jounouchi, you look like hell," Honda took a bite of his burger, teeth sinking into the fatty meat. He grabbed his soda and took a large sip, before opening his mouth again to speak, "What happened to you?"

There was a pause as Jounouchi stared at his food, untouched, "Just some more family troubles, can't ever get rid of em'."

"That sucks man, if you ever need a place to crash, I'm open," He laughed, before taking another large bite. Jounouchi glanced up at Honda before letting a smile grace his lips. He was happy that Honda didn't ask as many questions as Anzu or Shizuka, or even ask about much of anything at all. Jounouchi was never the kind that liked to tell his life story to others, or have others smother him with their sincere, or half hearted pity. It was better to be on the patronizing end. It just made him felt more at ease.

It reminded him of Kaiba's ways, his condescending tone always making Jounouchi the inferior mutt, always verbally abusing him.

He choked on his own spit, "Thanks Honda, I'll tell you when my mattress is coming."

"You're joking, right!?" The two laughed loudly at the table, gathering a couple stares that soon after returned back to their own selves.

"Well, gotta' go, work is calling," Jounouchi rose from the table, taking his uneaten tray towards the garbage.'

"Still working that job? You should find something else man."

"It's hard to find a better one, I mean, the pay is pretty good. Not many other jobs can give me that," Jounouchi stopped at door, "It's really not too bad after you get used to it."

Honda rolled his eyes, "Whatever floats your boat Jou."

The blonde shot him a look, "I'll see you later."

He started out the door before he heard his friends voice once more, "Oh, by the way, are you going to come to Anzu's party next weekend?"

"Anzu's party?"

"Yeah, she said somethin' about a gathering. I don't really know the details, but you should come anyways."

Jounouchi looked back and gave Honda a thumbs up, "Sure, you can count on me being there," He watched as Honda gave him the same thumbs up before he finally exited the burger joint.

He took his keys out from his pocket, and walked over to a worn out motorcycle, leaning against the back wall of the store. It had never occurred to him he would own a motorcycle, broken or not, he had at least one mode of transportation at his disposal. Though he would have to blame it all on his luck, when he drew the winning card from a second hand shop raffle.

The key was stuck into the ignition, and as the motorcycle started up, and the engine roared, he sped off.

"Jou-chan, where were you!? You're fifteen minutes late!" A woman in her late thirties yelled at Jounouchi as he took off his shirt.

He lied, "I'm sorry Reiko, traffic was a bitch," A crisp white button up replaced his old green and generic branded t-shirt, tossing it into his specified locker. His hands ran down his shirt, making sure that each button was securely fastened.

A black tie wrapped around his neck, Reiko's hands working as fast as they could, "You're clients have been complaining for you," She fixed some hair wax into her hands and tossed Jounouchi's messy hair around. "So I had Ryuji take over for a sec."

A frown crossed his face as he heard the name. Jounouchi never liked Ryuji from the beginning. He remembered the day when he and his sister were out shopping, and by coincidence, met up with Ryuji. And right from the start, he found that the man had more than just interests in his little sister.

He pulled on his black blazer, "Oh great, so now you had Mr. Number One steal all my clients?"

"Jou-chan, you know I'd never do that. There was just nobody else left." Reiko put on the finishing touches before scooting back to look at her finished product, "Besides being number two isn't the end of the world."

"It is when HE'S number one."

"Just get on out there," She pushed the frowning Jounouchi out the door, "Oh, and there's an appointment specifically for you around eleven, make sure you don't forget!"

"I got it, I got it." He walked out the door, a newly found smile forced onto his lips, "You miss me girls?"

There was a slight squeal behind the table, girls adorned with expensive and heavy jewelry giggling and staring in pure fascination as the blonde walked gracefully to their table. He saw Ryuji smashed between a pair women, their hands snaked around his arms possessively.

"Hey there Jou, sorry I had to take these beautiful ladies for myself, I just couldn't resist." The girls blushed as they giggled some more, "But it would seem that I would have to leave now."

Soft boo's could be heard as the dark haired boy slipped himself out of the women's deathly grasps.

"Ryuji come play again sometime, 'kay?"

"Yeah, the more people, the funner it'll be!"

"Sure thing ladies, anytime," Ryuji smiled before heading towards Jounouchi, "They're all yours."

He tried to hold back his tone full of disgust, "Yeah, thanks…"

"Jou-chan!" The women squealed, "Come sit here, hurry!"

"I'm coming," Jounouchi sat down, the women beginning to bombard him with their simple gestures, and lack of personal space. He sat there, taking a glass of wine in between his fingers, carefully catering it to his lips.

"Guess what I got you today Jou-chan," One of the women dug into her purse, fishing out a small box, a smooth velvet exterior branded with a golden leaflet accompanying it was held in her hands. "…Since tonight'll be my last night here with you, I thought I'd give you a little parting gift."

"Last night? What are you talking about?" Jounouchi slightly cocked his head to the side, giving her a questioning look.

"I'm heading abroad to Europe for awhile. It seems my dad wants me to meet some prestigious guy… or something." She frowned, "It feels like a marriage consultation."

Jounouchi took his hand and placed it on top of her own before picking it, thumb gently brushing over her knuckles. He placed a kiss on the palm of her hand, "I'm sure that it will be better than you think." He smiled at the blushing girl, "But it's sad to see such a lovely lady go."

"Jou-chan…" Tears sprung from her eyes, makeup smearing under her eyes, "Thank you." She embarrassingly shoved the box into Jounouchi's hands before running off towards the bathroom, handkerchief in her hand. The other girls, even as the competition was severed in half, felt sad to see one of their long term companions go.

Jounouchi opened the velvet box. Inside, a diamond encrusted letter "J" hung on a long silver chain. He fingered the letter before the woman came back, now taking a seat next to him.

"Isn't it adorable? The moment I saw it, I thought of you," Her hands clasped together, with a visible red still staining her eyes.

"It's beautiful," Jounouchi always found parting gifts hard to accept. In all, he would usually never accept such a thing, especially the elaborate gifts that the girls around him would always give to him. Such acceptance just never sat still with him. It made him a little dizzy, the amounts of money that his clients would spend on him. Sure he was the number two host in their club, yet the guilt that rode upon his shoulders would just never disappear.

He didn't understand why it was necessary to spend for affection.

Jounouchi lightly grasped her hair and intertwined it into his hand, a guilty conscience beginning to swell in his mind, "Why don't you put it on for me?"

-

He looked at his watch, checking the time. It was ten minutes past eleven, and his guest had still not arrived, leaving Jounouchi sitting alone on the couch, silver necklace gleaming against the dim lights. The night had somewhat calmed down, the rest of the hosts taking some of their half-drunken clients home.

"Still not here? To think you'd get stood up like this," Ryuji laughed, emitting a glare from Jounouchi from below. It never clicked how much being a host could change somebody's personality, one moment happened like this, the other the complete opposite. Jounouchi came to like that. It was brilliant, a flawless plan, it broke him out of his cycle of rinse and repeat.

It broke him out of a cage he so desperately wanted to live out of.

A voice behind the two boys yelled, "If it was you, I definitely would of stood you up." Tall, blonde, and big breasted, stood Mai.

"Mai!" Jounouchi stood up, as Ryuji gave one last glare at the two before leaving to tend to his own station. "You're here."

"The one and only," She walked over towards Jounouchi, situating herself comfortably between the seats across from him. If she was like any of the other girls, he would have taken her hand and guided her to her seat, but if he had done that with Mai, he could just as well say goodbye to his manhood. It was a risk he was not willing to take. Submissive, and controlled, that was how she would have rather liked things.

"Tell me, how have you been Jounouchi?" She flaunted her hand towards a passing waiter, asked for a glass of wine, then returned her attention back towards the other blonde.

He replied, "I've been better. Did you get a price on it?"

"Quick to get to the subject ain't ya'. I sold it for two grand."

There was a pause, "That's… it?" Jounouchi stared in disbelief at Mai.

"What do you mean 'that's it'!? That was the highest I could get it for. Why do you need so much off that anyways?" It was never easy to deal with Jounouchi, Mai found that out the hard way. Sometimes it pained her when she found her friend in such desperation, especially when she remembered him being the type that never gave up, never backed down even when he found himself in an ungodly position.

But it was different now, the way he had grown up, less hard headed and level with the rest of society. He just seemed to give off a different air, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Maybe she found him a little bit more real.

"It's not that… I just need some cash quick."

"Again? What's going on this time?"

He couldn't lie, "Dad's gotten in more trouble again, and they're demanding more shit than last time."

"Jounouchi…"

He sighed, breathing in the scent of heavy perfume left infused in the couch. His necklace jingled lightly, catching his attention.

Hesitant, he spoke, "… What about this Mai? How much do you think I could get off this?" He traced the 'J' with his finger before unclasping the hook at the back of his neck. Mai stuck her hand out as the cool silver made contact with her hand.

She rolled it around in between her fingers, "I'd say around half a thousand to a thousand. The diamonds look pretty high quality." A serious look escaped her as she glanced at Jounouchi, "Are you sure you're alright with doing all this?"

"I don't deserve it anyways."

"…but—"

"It's just a gift, I mean, It doesn't really hold much value." There were things that brought up an unconventional guilt, as he breathed out the last words in his sentence, "What good is it going to do hanging around my neck?"

Mai frowned, "I'm sure if the girl who gave you this heard you right now, she'd go crying her eyes out suicidal."

"…"

"You don't have to do this Jounouchi," She pocketed the woman's last feelings, "I'm sure I could help you—"

"You're doing enough just being here for me Mai."

"But I—"

"And besides, they're only worth material value."

"Jounou—"

"And I think I'd rather have my ladies cry then tell them that I'm dead."

"Hey…"

"So it's not all that bad."

"Jounouchi!" Mai yelled at the top of her lungs, slamming her palms on the surface of the glass table, shaking the wine glasses from their place. Jounouchi lifted his head, looked at Mai with a certain understanding, and quietly closed his mouth.

"I still have contacts with Kaiba."

There was a shift of uneasiness.

"He can help," Mai started to reach behind her, into her bag, and brought out a cigarette. She drew it to her lips, "I met him a few days ago, he's changed, that's for sure."

"I—"

This time it was Mai who silenced Jounouchi, "Really, if you can get past some of his flaws, even you might eventually come to appreciate what he can do."

There was a short silence as a flame lit Mai's cigarette, "So I'll give him your number."

Jounouchi shouted, a certain fright running through his body, "Mai, you can't do that!"

"And why not? Give me one good reason why I can't," She exhaled a puff of smoke towards Jounouchi's face. It littered the air, creating a sort of screen between the two.

"Tell me why I'm not allowed to do something for somebody I care about."

"Because it's… he's… he…" It reminded him of all the humiliation he had to go through because of that man. He could still hear it, loud and clear, his threats and insults thrown in such a precise manner, and it still made him shiver whenever he remembered.

And he could also remember the more indecent side of him.

"He's what?"

"I-I just don't want to go begging to him! It drives me insane, you know!?" Fists clenched tightly, his knuckles turning into a fine white.

Mai stood up, annoyed. She took one last sip of her drink before starting for the door, "You're pathetic today Jou." Her back was facing Jounouchi, before she stopped, turning her head for one last comment, "You just can't shake yourself out of the past, can you? He's not the selfish bastard you perceive him to be anymore. At least give him another chance." She turned around quickly after, and walked out of the club, leaving the dazed blonde situated to his seat.

There was nothing really left to say. She was going to end up giving Kaiba his number anyways, and that was that. If his phone never rang, it would have been an answer to his prayers. If it did, he could just ignore it. Simply ignore the man.

But he couldn't ignore his last impression, so deeply scarring him from the inside.

He looked at the table, a necklace bathed in spilled wine, "Second chance my ass, he's never going to stop being a bastard."

* * *

Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying it so far! Kaiba will come in soon!

R&R!


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